Film adaptation of the novel - did it work for The Help?

I have never been a huge fan of seeing a movie based on a book I thought was wonderful save three exceptions: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Harry Potter Series, and Princess Bride. 

I am torn about my feelings for the work done by Tate Taylor's adaptation of Kathryn Stockett's novel, The Help.  Halfway through the movie, all I could do is think about what was left out: the intricacies and development of each character were not there.  So many story lines changed or left out altogether. That is what always disappoints me. I know the thoughts in the characters minds, and what they are feeling, which is difficult, if not impossible, to translate to the screen.  As I watched, I kept thinking to myself, "why did you do that?" And, "that's not what she said. She said it so much better." And I kept thinking, why did you make such a leap in the story and leave that huge gaping gap? 

Also, I was wondering if I hadn't read the book, would I really appreciate and understand the message of the book - because I was able to fill in the huge gaps that the movie left out, whereas the viewer of the movie is missing the internal dialogue. 

However, as the last half of the movie unfolded, I began to appreciate and prefer Tate Taylor's interpretation of this important story.  In particular, he created a much stronger and compelling character in Charlotte Phelan, Skeeter's mother.  She became one of the heroine's of the story, instead of one of the villain's.  And there were more emotionally uplifting and moving moments in the last part of the movie, that elicited emotions that the book did not, by rewriting the story.  

But the most disappointing aspect of the movie was the storyline that was not  fully developed between Aibileen and Mae Mobley, the two-year old daughter of Elizabeth Leefolt. There was so much going on with these two in the book, resulting in the complete dissolution of racial disparity that could only result from childhood innocence during that time period.  This was one of the key themes of the book - that children do not know evil, until taught it.  So sorry to see this theme downplayed in the movie. 

However, the movie did have it's upsides and strengths over the print version. Three scenes in particular struck me as standouts above the novel:

1) Sissy Spacek's  phenomenal portrayal as Hilly Holbrook's mother, Missus Walters.  Her character had much more impact in the movie, particularly with the scenes of The Terrible Awful,  the  book club reading, and the phone call urging her daughter to read the book because it was "scandalous" and sounded "just like Jackson." 

2) Allison Janney's portrayal of Charlotte Phelan. When Hilly Holbrook shows up at the Phelan home to "tell on" Skeeter to her mother about writing the book about The Help.  In the book, Skeeter's mother did not know about the book, but in the movie, she had secretly read it and figured out that "Anonymous" was her daughter.  The telling off of Miss Hilly  in a southern mother appropriate way to defend her daughter, Skeeter, was a high point of the movie. Whereas in the book, Charlotte was always more concerned with preserving her appearances and societal status. This was a fantastic change in the movie vs. the book. 

3) Minnie's relationship with the Foote family. Although this relationship was one of the highlights in the book, the movie took it to another level.  The scene toward the end of the movie where Celia makes a spread of food that she cooked all by herself, and set it on the dinner table where she admittedly could not beg two of the towns people to sit was touching. Celia's statement of accomplishment of "doing everything Minnie had taught her" (which never happened in the book) was moving.  But most of all,  Johnnie Foote pulling the chair out for Minnie to sit down at the same table as them to eat - that brought tears to my eyes.  That was one of the best scenes in the movie. 

But I wonder. If I hadn't read the book and known these characters inside and out - would this movie have had the same emotional impact? I would be happy to hear from anyone that saw the movie, and did not read the book. In the meantime, my husband will be the guinea pig, and I will gauge his reactions to this movie, because he has not read the book. 

However, I am disappointed that one of the best lines in the book was not in the movie - unless I missed it. "Wasn't that the point of the book? For women to realize, we are just two people. Not that much separates us. Not nearly as much as I'd thought." 

If you don't see the movie, at least check out the book, or vice versa.  A new and insightful spin on a very important time in American History. 

If you have read the book and seen the movie - what are your thoughts? What are your thoughts in general about film adaptations of classic writings?

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Defriended on Facebook

I should really learn to stop going to Starbucks after noon, because caffeine has an affect on me that it didn't used to have....it makes me lie in bed thinking about stuff instead of sleeping. 

So here I am, all ready to enter sleep bliss, and a thought comes into my head that has been bothering me since my trip back home this summer. "X" has defriended me.  Not only did she defriend me, but her mom, and daughter too.  Now don't get me wrong - I am not that friggin shallow to be devastated by a Facebook defriending, but it has made me reflect on my underlying unfriendly nature. And make me get out of bed to write it down, so I don't lose the thought. And also there is that irritating character flaw of mine -  the everlasting need to defend myself.  If not only just to write it down and somehow feel it is settling. 

It started with me being road hard from a very long drive from Sacramento to Sandpoint, Idaho to see mom & dad.  Not to see anyone else (except maybe Debbie). 

We got into town, and here I am walking into Walmart looking and feeling like I just walked off the set of Deliverance.  I thought to myself - this is Sandpoint, Smallsville, USA.  Lord help me if I see anyone I know.  And I jinxed it from right there. Sure enough, strolling through I hear my name.  OH SHIT, I think to myself, because I am in my mode of not being social, and my town is just not the place to be let loose in if you are in that frame of mind. 

It is one of my best friends from high school - with her mom, also an old friend. Now I use the word "friend" lightly, because but-for Facebook, I would not know these people. It has been 28+ years since I graduated from Sandpoint Senior High, and up until about a year ago, I had not spoken to ANYONE from high school, aside from the stragglers coming back through town on College visits when I was bar tending at Kamloops. College wasn't even a word in my vocabulary at that time. 

Enter the Facebook Craze many, many years later. When it first came out and was still cool.  I had no discretion, and was eager to connect up with long lost acquaintances.  But any connection was really only through the ether, not real. I didn't really know the people I was reconnecting with, and it somehow felt empty.  It felt like it always did - like I was an outsider looking into other people's lives. Like watching a movie. 

It really hit me one summer on a road trip home with my husband, and I was frantically updating my status on FB like it was the most important thing ever.  Like I was a CNN Correspondent or something.  Like anyone really cared.  And ironically, my closest friends were not even Facebooker's. Because of some insight someone gave me, I realized that I had let anyone and everyone into our bubble of protected bliss.  Looking to see who "liked" where I was or what I was doing.  Almost like an obsession to be noticed for doing something cool, and accepted for it. 

I came back home after the trip and the realization and did a mass "defriending" of people I had absolutely no intention of actually catching up with. it was strange to do that, but it also felt right.

So. The crazy and hypocritical thing is that I got bummed when I realized X, and her whole family had defriended me.  It took me awhile to notice. I can't pin down the actual time it happened because FB doesn't alert you to defriending actions, only friending ones.  But one day I realized X wasn't liking my stupid shit comments anymore.  And she was one of the few that actually did. So then I thought to myself, what happened to X? Maybe she got the crazy FB virus bug that messes up your whole computer and you have to deactivate your account for awhile. But I am thinking not.  

But here's the gig. Anyone that knows me knows two things about me: 1) I am with you when I am with you, but when I am gone or you are I move on; and 2) I am not that good of a friend.  Probably just restating #1.  It is no surprise to me that I can count my close friends on one hand.  I had delusions of grandeur that Facebook might be the friend maker I never have been.  But it is not that, because I am not that. For most of my adult life I have travelled and never stayed in any one place long enough to get settled in and actually make friends.  This I guess is changing now that I have been in the same town now for 11 years.  Maybe it is time to finally settle in. 

But even then I will still be what I have always been and felt - an awkward feeling onlooker to other people going about a normal life of what FB epitomizes.  And for that reason, I will stay on FB.  Because despite not knowing too many people intimately, I do enjoy seeing others living life and keeping up with them.  I "like" it.  And many of the people I have reconnected with - if only on Facebook - are leading beautiful and amazing lives.  And I am too. Just maybe in a different way. 

So if I run into you and seem strange - please don't take it personal.  It is not you, it's me.


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on the job training

Today was a great day.  The past week or so has been a little iffy and tough for me for a number of reasons, but today was as it should be. And a workday, even.  Bonus.

It was one of those times when you are rewinding and revisiting past experiences, while at the same time creating new ones.  It is amazing how much of my life I forget, especially as the years continue to pile on and it seems experiences begin to multiply exponentially.  A road trip, with a purpose. That was today. The purpose - to do what we do in our line of work - fix things.  The purpose was achieved, and by itself was a good day for the experience was new and I like new. 

But the trip was a journey through time of days gone by.  I found myself absorbed in the experience of living life through someone else's perspective, yet contemplative of my own journey.  It made me think a lot, and take a moment of pause and reflection.  It made me remember a lot of things and remind myself of my flaws and weaknesses.  And mistakes.  Sort of like watching a movie or reading a novel that is all too close to home. 

So ponder and reflect.  But mostly remember.  I have come a long way, but the journey was not an easy one, and one I would not necessarily want to do over. 

I get in such a rut so easily and accept what is as what should be. It is times like a great road trip that are great to stir up the pot a bit.  Make me feel a little ill at ease and remember. I am who I am because of the experiences I have had, good and bad.  I can get so easily derailed and sometimes a good road trip is just what might be needed to get back on track.  

Today served that purpose for me.  And all is not only what is....but is as it should be.  Perfect timing for my husband to come home. Ahlan wa sahlan.




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Mother's Day....

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers.  This day is always a little bittersweet for me.  Although I am a step-mother to three great boys for over 12 years, their mother is still very much a part of their life, and I am not perceived as a mother, nor does this day bring any recognition of that fact from them.  I wonder what it would be like to really be a mother, and have your kids call you "mom," "mama," "mother," "mama!" I wonder what it would be like to have them love and adore you, and then turn around and be so mad at you.  Or to just have that feeling of unconditional love that comes with a genetic connection. 

I feel it is likely part of the Karmic Wheel that spins in my life, for actions taken earlier in my life that has kept the aspect of motherhood out of reach.  Not a pity party, just a reflection.  This day is right up there with my other least favorite Hallmark holiday: Valentine's Day.  Although I honor the day for my own wonderful mother, and my family and friends, it is always a day of regret and longing for the child I never had.  Choices made, paths taken, and this is where I have ended up. Writing a blog on Mother's day about Mother's day, instead of being the recipient of blessings bestowed. 

So today, I will spend the day in reflection and appreciation of what is, and try not to dwell on what could have been. 

Mother's, be thankful, not expectant on this day.  Be grateful that you are a mother.  Me - I'm just waiting for the grandkids to come along! :) 


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Birthday Celebration Retreat

Thank you all for the birthday wishes and blessings. What a truly wonderful and memorable day and weekend it was.

I chose for this birthday to expand my experience and spiritual awareness by attending a retreat at the Ananda Sangha in Nevada City, Ca. The retreat center is called The Expanding Light at Ananda Village It was a truly inspired journey, which in retrospect, I had no idea was in store for me.

Have you ever been somewhere that seems so familiar, like you have been there before? Each face looks like an old friend you haven't seen for a long, long time, but you can't quite place them? This is how it was for me.

The weekend was spent in spiritual practice, called Sadhana, which is a combination of energization exercises, yoga postures, chanting, prayer, and meditation. I attended the "First Timers" session, which included a tour of the village and grounds, background lecture of the history of Ananda Village, and a class on meditation. The food was vegetarian, and was amazingly delicious. Everything about the weekend was extraordinary and wonderful. I came back fully charged, revitalized, and restored.


















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Bucket List

Do you have a "Bucket List" of things you want to see, feel or experience before your time in this physical body is over?

I don't have an actual list, but I do have hopes and dreams of what I want to do. But there are certain things that will not make The List, and I don't feel bad, or as if I am cheating myself, either. I definitely have no desire to sky dive, bungee jump, or even climb Mt. Everest. Although it was a very exhilarating experience learning to mountain climb - especially the repelling down off the mountainside part.

One of my bucket list items for the past 15 years has been to go on a spiritual retreat. Even though in my heart I thought this was something I wanted to do - and needed to do - I always hesitated for a number of reasons.

First of all, I am not a Monk, don't have any intentions to become a monk, and I am not your poster child of spiritual togetherness. And I don't see myself as one of THOSE types of people who wear hippy garb and bless everyone all the time and don't shave. Although at times I have come close to all of the above. And despite my public personna, I am very insecure and shy, and feel very out of place in unfamiliar or new settings. I suppose these two reasons alone warrant this as a bucket list happening thing.

I have also hesitated because of timing. When is a good time for someone like me where every day is a hedonistic tribute to denial of finding my purpose? To find a time when I can give up my routine of comfort and security, even if a destructive one, is challenging and disconcerting.

And I am afraid. I am afraid of what such a journey might bring in terms of needed change both below and above my surface. Am I ready to tackle that?

But my birthday is coming. And with this birthday, I will be closer to 50 than to 40 (yikes). Something about that is rocking my world. Making me pay a little more attention. I have been in denial for so long of growing up, and getting older. I have fought to remain a child, and not play the grown up game. But in fighting that, I have neglected myself in all aspects: physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Putting off the inevitable mortal-ness of being. Thinking myself of being a Here and Now person. When in actuality, I am just going through the motions of existence. Doing what is expected of me as a participant in existence. Call me crazy, but I truly know in the depths of my heart and soul that there is more to it for me than that. I just don't know if I am ready.

But ready or not, here I come. I booked the retreat, and now it is up to me to bring meaning to it - to my existence. I don't have high expectations that one weekend retreat can fix me, get me on track again, but I am holding out hope. I have a lot of work to do. I am a slave to my addictions and to the material world. But I know there is something inside, screaming to be let out. And I need to listen.

Again. Do you have a bucket list? What is it that you dream of?

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It's a new day, it's a new year, it's a new decade

Happy New Year!

For me, this is a limbo day between out with the old, and in with the new. It is like standing by a magical reflecting pool, where you gaze into the pool and see reflections of the past year and decade, and then glance up to see what is just on the edge of the horizon of what will be.

I did a couple contemplative exercises yesterday and this morning to try and work through the process.

Yesterday - New Year's Eve - was spent gazing into the metaphorical reflection pool. It was a time to review past events, challenges, lessons learned and contemplate the next steps. I have a poor memory, so this exercise was good to force myself to stop and take notice, to conjure up 12 months of stuff - the good, the bad, the ugly. The hardest part of the exercise was weaving in lessons learned with a foreword looking perspective, and creating new goals and continuing old ones.

It's funny how it is really just another day though, right? Time is really so arbitrary, but we put it into little boxes of seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, seasons, years. We do this to mark time, to keep track of time and to measure ourselves against time. But since we operate within this construct, at least for now, this timeline helps me to set goals and deadlines to keep moving

This morning's exercise involved an introspective examination to identify and free the blockages that prevent realization of living to life's fullest potential and growth. Very challenging, but necessary and hopefully, fruitful.

Now - fun time! Free time to just be and enjoy the moments of this day of limbo in-between what was, and what will be - the here and now.

May the new year bring you laughter, fun, happiness and joy. May we all be a little more light hearted and accepting of both ourselves and others as we enter this new decade.

Enjoy the day!

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