Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers. This day is always a little bittersweet for me. Although I am a step-mother to three great boys for over 12 years, their mother is still very much a part of their life, and I am not perceived as a mother, nor does this day bring any recognition of that fact from them. I wonder what it would be like to really be a mother, and have your kids call you "mom," "mama," "mother," "mama!" I wonder what it would be like to have them love and adore you, and then turn around and be so mad at you. Or to just have that feeling of unconditional love that comes with a genetic connection.
I feel it is likely part of the Karmic Wheel that spins in my life, for actions taken earlier in my life that has kept the aspect of motherhood out of reach. Not a pity party, just a reflection. This day is right up there with my other least favorite Hallmark holiday: Valentine's Day. Although I honor the day for my own wonderful mother, and my family and friends, it is always a day of regret and longing for the child I never had. Choices made, paths taken, and this is where I have ended up. Writing a blog on Mother's day about Mother's day, instead of being the recipient of blessings bestowed.
So today, I will spend the day in reflection and appreciation of what is, and try not to dwell on what could have been.
Mother's, be thankful, not expectant on this day. Be grateful that you are a mother. Me - I'm just waiting for the grandkids to come along! :)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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